BLAME HBO FOR CHIEFS' UPCOMING 5-11 SEASON
Kansas City Sports & Fitness (September 2007)
By John Landsberg
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the Kansas City Chiefs are going into the dumper this season. The way things are shaping up it looks like a 5-11 season just might be in the cards.
While I could analyze the team position by position and such I will leave that to Fantasy nerds. However, I am prepared to blame HBO for the entire mess we will be in this season.
The cable network decided after a five-year absence to resurrect its popular �Hard Knocks� show of teams in action during training camp. Unfortunately, the Chiefs jumped at the chance.
"On behalf of the Hunt Family and the entire Kansas City Chiefs organization, we are extremely pleased to collaborate with HBO and NFL Films on this project," said Chiefs� CEO Carl Peterson. "We view this as a tremendous opportunity to showcase our team, the entire Kansas City Chiefs organization and our fans to a national audience."
The last time the show aired was in 2002 and featured the Dallas Cowboys� training camp. The Cowboys promptly laid an egg to the tune of a 5-11 record and a 4th place finish. In 2003, without HBO, the team rebounded to a 10-6 record.
In 2001, the first year the show ever aired, the Baltimore Ravens were coming off a sterling 12-4 record and a Super Bowl Championship. After the NFL�s Steve Sabol and the HBO crew left the team went 10-6. (In all fairness the Ravens decided to make Elvis Grbac their QB in 2002 so HBO can�t take all the blame).
I valiantly tried to withhold judgment on the HBO jinx, but after watching how Coach Herm Edwards, Peterson, Boomer Grigsby, et al fawned over, under and through the cameras, I knew we were in trouble.
True to form, old school Gunther Cunningham looked like he wanted to take a camera and give Sabol an HBO enema with it. As expected, Herm gave his Hermonettes to anyone willing to listen. He even colored a poster welcoming the team to training camp that went over like the proverbial turd in a punch bowl.
Peterson tried to come across as some sort of passionate guy who genuinely cares about the players---and fans. That�s real life!!
Grigsby came across as a bonafide nut job.
Let�s face it, anything dubbed a�docu-reality� series is just plain silly. Is it a documentary? Is it reality? The answers would be �No� and �No.� The Chiefs had the ability to take out anything they didn�t like which meant it wasn�t journalism. Maybe it should have been labeled �A Long NFL Commercial.�
I tried to be objective about the whole thing. But, I knew we were in trouble when Larry Johnson finally signed his gazillion dollar contract right after the official training camp had ended (surprise!).
It was reported on WHB-810 and a conversation along these lines ensued:
Todd Leabo: �Kevin, Larry Johnson signed his contract today and was so eager to get started that he literally ran out onto the field to start practice.�
Kevin Kietzman: �Todd, are you saying that Larry signed and promptly ran out on the field?�
Leabo: �Yes, he was anxious to get going.�
Kietzman: �Todd, were the HBO cameras there taping him?�
Leabo: �Well, yes, they were on him the whole time��
This proves conclusively that the HBO cameras truly distorted reality. Larry Johnson eager to practice? What�s next? A close-up of Larry in church leading the team in prayer?
The HBO �Docu-Reality� series might be the high point of the season for the Chiefs this year. But don�t give up hope for the future. Remember, if your team really sucks one year the NFL rewards you with better draft choices and a cushy schedule the following season.
The Chiefs will suck this year. But next year without HBO and thanks to parity we could be pretty darn good.
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