"COACH SPEAK" SPOKEN HERE
KC SPORTS & FITNESS
MARCH 2010
By John Landsberg
I can’t help it. Although I have been a huge sports follower and chronicler for decades (I once covered a curling match before curling became cool), I must admit I love watching coaches respond to questions from the media.
Although I rarely interview coaches these days, I used to talk with them before media handlers did their magic and trained virtually all coaches in the fine art of “Coach Speak.” Coach Speak is the magical language of clichés coaches use when speaking with the media. Virtually nothing they say is of any value to anyone.
The absolute master of Coach Speak is Jim Tressel, head football coach at THE Ohio State University. In fact, he is often referred to as “Senator” for his way of speaking without saying anything of value.
I must admit (okay brag) that Tressel and I graduated together from that fine institution of higher learning: Baldwin-Wallace College in Ohio. He was the star quarterback. His father was the legendary B-W football coach. I was a mediocre student (at best).
To Coach Tressel every team OSU plays is a “great” team with a “fine” head coach. If he was taking on Benedictine College in Atchison he would likely say that “They have a great team with some excellent players. They are extremely well-coached. We are certainly not taking them lightly. We are going to have to play our best if we want to be victorious.”
In Kansas City we are going to have some great first and second round NCAA basketball games this month. There will be upsets. There will be some heart-stopping finishes. But one thing you can be sure of is that coaches at the Division I level have been trained in the fine art of Coach Speak.
The only caveat is Kansas State Coach Frank Martin, who must have missed his Coach Speak training. Martin is moving into the “I can say anything I want” category reserved for people like Bobby Knight. And like Knight, as long as KSU wins, Martin is golden. (PS: I would pay extra to any network willing to put a live microphone on Martin during a game.)
While Coach Speak has evolved over the years, I am a firm believer that it really became an art form during that memorable scene in the 1988 movie “Bull Durham” when Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) lectured star pitcher Nuke LaLoosh (Tim Robbins) on the finer points of using clichés in interviews.
Crash Davis: It's time to work on your interviews.
Nuke LaLoosh: My interviews? What do I gotta do?
Crash Davis: You're gonna have to learn your clichés. You're gonna have to study them, you're gonna have to know them. They're your friends. Write this down: "We gotta play it one day at a time."
Nuke LaLoosh: Got to play... it's pretty boring.
Crash Davis: 'Course it's boring, that's the point. Write it down.
Let me be one of the first people to welcome all the teams to Kansas City for the NCAA tourney.
Keep in mind you are all some of the finest teams in all of college basketball…you are all coached by excellent coaches….you will have to play hard to win…don’t take any of your opponents lightly…play each game one at a time…play within yourself…and always give 110%.
Oh, and try and have fun. Welcome to our great city!
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