SUMMARY: The "American Idol" victory by Blue Springs' David Cook has now crossed the line into the political arena. A column called the "XX Factor" in Slate written by women compares the "Idol" finalists to Republican and Democrat presidential candidates. 05-23-2008
I dutifully watch American Idol every week because my daughter is a huge fan. After two seasons, I have learned to (almost) enjoy it. I basically just pretend I'm living in a different age and a pleasant second-string country, maybe in Latin America or the Middle East, where every week me and my extended family sit down to watch a goofy variety show filled with amateur singing and colorful local characters. Then last night, after the final results show, I found myself unreasonably elated when they announced that David Cook had won. For those of you who are above such frippery, you might not know that this was not at all the expected result. The night before, after the final showdown, the judges had all but declared the other finalist, David Archuleta, to be the better man. Then last night they dragged us through Fox infomercials and a string of has-been celebrities until, an hour into the show, they announced that in fact COOK had won, by nearly 12 million votes. So why do I care? And why should you? Well, here is my very unfounded theory: Cook is the Democrats, and Archuleta is the Republicans. More specifically, Cook is Barack Obama and Archuleta is, if not John McCain then some dependably modern Republican-type. Both come off as sweet, good guys, but Cook is older and decidedly cooler. He's a baby-faced rocker from just outside Kansas City whose performances have been unreliable. One week he's awesome and the next so-so. He's mostly cheerful but sometimes moody and glum and seems to expect to lose. Archuleta, meanwhile, is a 17-year-old fuddy-duddy from Utah who grew up singing show tunes and Elton John. His mother is from Honduras, and he has four siblings. He's deeply humble and entitled at the same time. I've always imagined him as home-schooled but I have no evidence, outside his large family and unyouthful musical tastes. A Los Angeles Times blog suspected he skipped the first verse of "Imagine" on Idol because he's a Mormon and would take offense at the line about "no religion." I think of him more as a Mitt Romney-type�weekly transmitting secret religious messages only his fellow conservative Christians would pick up. Every week I scrutinized his song choices and his outfit, and quizzed no one in particular: Why did he choose Neil Diamond's patriotic song "Coming to America"? Why does he have a huge anchor sewn onto his jacket? Is there some Jesus parable about an anchor? So come last night, I was sure Archuleta would win. Which is how a Democrat would think. Despite all evidence pointing to the Democrat's superior charisma, vitality, momentum, relevance, and musical tastes, they still think the Republicans have some secret silent majority that will prevail in the end. And then, lo and behold, those extra votes showed up on the right side. Hallelujah.
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