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"He left for a vacation at his lodge, taking his favorite two great dames with him."

"Rev. Hammond was congratulated on being able to get his parish plastered."

"His left thumb, which was shot away, is doing nicely."

"We've got fifty yankettes married into English nobility right now. Some of them are duchesses. Some are countesses. Eleven are baronesses. Only one is a lady."
 
"The font so generously presented by Mrs. Smith will be set in position at the east end of the Church. Babies may now be baptized at both ends."

"The church is now forming a Little Mothers Club. All women desiring to become Little Mothers are asked to meet with the pastor in his study after services."
 
"Dr. Gilbert Murray, O.M., will celebrate his 90th birthday quietly at his home at Boars Hill, near Oxford, tomorrow, with his wife, Lady Mary Murray. They have been married 66 years. This evening he is to broadcast in the BBC Home Service a talk called "Unfinished Battle."'
 
"A loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of the members in memory of his wife."


TO ERROR IS HUMAN.... 


* IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."

 

* In criticizing the political views of Patrick Buchanan, William Bennett said, "It's a real us-and-them kind of thing," not, as we reported, "It's a real S&M kind of thing."

 

* It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day.  In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.

 

* There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting.  It should have been trap shooting.

 

* From a California bar association's newsletter: Correction � the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please correct to read "12:00 noon."

 

* We apologize to our readers who received, through an unfortunate computer
error, the chest measurements of members of the Female Wrestlers Association
instead of the figures on the sales of soybeans to foreign countries.

 

* In Frank Washburn's March column, Rebecca Varney was erroneously Identified as a bookmaker.  She is a typesetter.

 

* Our article about Jewish burial customs contained an error: Mourners' Clothing is rent -- that is, torn -- not rented.

 

* In the City Beat section of Friday's paper, firefighter Dwight Brady was misidentified.  His nickname in the department is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo." We apologize for our mistake.

 

* Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler's Mother, not Hitler's, that was exhibited.  There is nothing to be gained in trying to explain how this error occurred.

 

* Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr.  Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force.  This was a typographical error.  Mr.  Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.

 

* Yesterday we mistakenly reported that a talk was given by a battle-scared hero.  We apologize for the error.  We obviously meant that the talk was given by a bottle-scarred hero.

 

* Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on the front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep."

 

* In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's Southwestern chicken salad  recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.


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